Being Slow to Change

This is the ninth post in a series about ways that I have missed the mark as a pastor. It began as a response to several articles about why young adults are leaving the church. You can begin here if you want some background to this current article.

 I apologize for being slow and unresponsive to the need for change because it’s easier to follow the path of least resistance (and there is tremendous resistance to the changes we are faced with).

I believe we are in midst of changes in our culture and our world of Biblical proportions. I know this is hard to prove and that times of change always feel like they are much bigger than they turn out to be. But I’m not the only one who believes this is so. Watch this brief (3 min.) video by Phyliss Tickle. She is the one who first gave structure and words to what I had been noticing in our world.

In addition to the “500 year rummage sale” I would also add that some of these transition points in Judeo-Christian history also coincide with significant advances in information technology. The Exodus, and the beginnings of Judaism as a communal faith, happened shortly after the invention of alphabets and using clay tablets to keep records. Some scholars believe that the Ten Commandments were the first set of religious laws codified in writing. The great Transformation and the writing of the New Testament took place at about the time that animal skin scrolls were being replaced by the cheaper and easier to make papyrus. This allowed the Gospels and Paul’s letters to be easily copied and distributed. And every student of the reformation knows the roll that Gutenberg’s printing press played in distributing catechisms, leaflets and even Bibles to more and more people.

Today the changes in information technology are astounding. Computers, smart phones and search technologies have simply transformed the way we store information (digitally), the way that it is shared (social media sites) and access we have to that information (all the time and everywhere). These changes are fundamentally changing the way we understand ourselves as humans and the way we are connected in community. At the risk of exposing myself as a TED Talk junkie here is a video talk by Amber Case (who calls herself a cyborg anthropologist) making a case for the ways technology is making us even more human.

When we begin to think about ourselves as people and as communities in different ways than we have in the past we get into all sorts of murky waters. In the past 100 years our culture has been struggling with gender roles and sexual orientation. We see changes in the relationship between parents and children at all stages of life. Work roles are changing from the thought that we are only a cog in the machine to being part of a collaborative team. We argue about our place in the earth’s ecology and just how much impact we really have. And what can it possibly mean for how we understand our place in the universe when we start imagining multiple universes or the simple fact that our universe is so much larger than we ever imagined?

The truth is, trying to keep up with the changes on a personal level is exhausting. Trying to make sure that a whole congregation full of people keeps up is even harder. As a rule, people are resistant to change. Change on this magnitude and at this speed only make it worse. Additionally,  many believe the church should provide an anchor in the storm of change or that it should provide black-and-white answers to a world that is shaded in gray.

I’ve been involved in this business of change in the church for over 20 years now. At times we debate (and debate and debate). Other times we wait to see what happens. And yet other times push to make the changes only to find that it is only one step in a process that is going to take many more steps. So for the fact that I am so tired of pushing for change and trying to get people to even see the need for change that I sometimes just give up, I’m sorry.

The world needs more than this from the church and its leaders. We need to be more inclusive in our conversations and try harder to understand what people are experiencing in these changes. We need to let the gospel speak to us all. And we have to understand that it is okay if we don’t understand it all. Perhaps the time for reflection will come when the changes have run their course. Maybe what we need now is to simply help one another through it.

A Tale of Two Days

This is a tale of relearning a lesson that I know to be true and yet seem to forget with regularity.

Monday evening I made the decision to show up at work early Tuesday morning and get at the myriad tasks I was responsible for before spending the afternoon in a more meditative state. I had an appointment with my spiritual director scheduled for early afternoon and thought it would be good to use the whole afternoon to do some writing and reflecting. This was a change from the routine that I was trying to get established; namely that I would spend an hour writing and reflecting in the morning before going to the office. 

So Tuesday morning I was up and out of the house extra early. But on the brief drive to the office I admitted to myself that I was avoiding. I realized that I had come to a place in my writing that I didn't want to face and putting it off until the afternoon was simply a form of procrastination. So I sat down and started to write. At the end of the hour I put my writing away with smug satisfaction that I had tackled a difficult task. Which was exactly the problem. I was in task mode as I wrote, not reflection mode. And when I was done writing I moved right on to the other tasks on my list.

It wasn't long before frustration set in. One after another, little hurdles appeared. Nothing major, just a steady stream of interruptions and annoyances. Tasks that should have taken 20 minutes were now taking 90. I spent 45 minutes chasing down an unannounced change in my internet browser settings (thank you Google) that affected one of the tasks that needed to be completed. I got further behind. I left for lunch 20 minutes late and with several tasks unfinished. That meant that I would be arriving at my spiritual direction appointment with no time to spare in a frazzled state of mind. 

The time with my spiritual director was good. It calmed me down and helped me realize everything that had happened in the morning was simply annoying, nothing else. But as I left that time of reflection, the rest of the day became filled once again with the unfinished tasks of the morning and was topped off by an evening council meeting. I went to bed feeling like I had been tossed around in clothes dryer.

Wednesday was a different story. Wednesday has come to be known in my life as Never Ending Wednesday. It is a day that I often get to the office by 7:30 am. and leave somewhere around 9:30 pm. It is a day that is normally a jumble of tasks, meetings, worship, teaching and preps for all that is going on that day. 

But on this particular Wednesday I didn't go in early. I spent time writing and reflecting first. By the time I looked at the clock I had just enough time to shower and dress and still swing by the coffee shop to pick up some quality brew to carry me through our staff meeting. At the coffee shop I ran into members of the congregation and even though I knew I didn't have time, I decided that I could be late for our staff meeting (something I usually deplore) and visit a few minutes with this couple. Since I was late to the meeting I left my laptop in my bag and went to the meeting with pen and paper which meant that I wouldn't be slyly working on other tasks . When the meeting was done I spent time with individual staff members (in the meeting after the meeting which is where the real work gets done) and then walked out of the office to go take my dog for a walk.

It was a great walk. I found a trail where she could run and I could walk and think and pray. By the time I got back to the office and finally sat down to the tasks on my to-do list, over half of the day had gone by. But with a clear, undistracted mind I began to tick off the tasks one at a time. I didn't procrastinate. My mind didn't wander. I didn't find extra websites to browse. I was focused and was able to deal with distractions. I simply worked around the kinds of things that had annoyed me on Tuesday. I went to bed tired after such a long day but much calmer than the night before.

I sit here today and wonder how many times I am going to have to learn this lesson. When I put tasks and work first those are the only things that ever get done. The idea that I can get my work done and out of the way so that I can have time for other things later is a lie. Work is never done. If I ever get today's tasks done I eagerly start on tomorrow's tasks, telling myself that I will have more free time the day after that. But it doesn't happen that way. The free time doesn't come. There is always another task, and another until we break down and our free time is taken up with getting healthy. 

In some strange way (that probably isn't as strange as it seems) when I make reflection, meditation and prayer first on my priority list all those tasks end up getting completed anyway. Additionally, I end up having reserves of energy and patience for use in personal relationships. I don't know why I keep forgetting this lesson that seems so intuitive every time I relearn it. I hope that some day the lesson sticks.