Her life played out like an ancient Greek tragedy: Humble beginnings; a God-given gift; a rise to greatness, a decline and fall; a too-soon death.
I didn't watch the Grammy tribute to Whitney Houston last night but I saw the 20 minute recap on the national news shows this morning. I was impressed by the prayer led by LL Cool J giving thanks for having been touched by her life and gift as well as naming the grief and shock of the day. The singers and musicians who paid tribute to her art did so beautifully and with heartfelt emotion.
It's no surprise that her death has caused sadness and grieving among her fans and her musical colleagues. Such grief searches for public expression. But I am conflicted by the ways in which the media is evolving as a leader in public grief. They have begun to serve as priest for the public masses, framing the story of a life with select and edited stories. News and talks shows (which are becoming the exact same things) serve as the host of a wake where loved ones and friends of the deceased share stories and memories and try to make sense of a life and a death.
In many ways this is necessary for such a public figure as Whitney Houston. Even though her death causes grief among the people of my congregation, we will not hold a vigil or even a special service because she was not a member of our faith community. So it is necessary for the someone or something to serve as the priest that puts her life and death into context. There will be clips of concerts and movies and television interviews. There will be sound bites from colleagues, friends and fans. We might even hear someone talk about the tragedy of her personal choices to use drugs to numb the pain that she felt.
But what we won't hear is a critique of the system that raised her up to great heights and then stood by as the fame and pressure of being a star overwhelmed her. We won't hear about music and film industries that paid her lots of attention and money but profited even more for itself. And while the Grammy Award show paid loving tribute and the morning news/talk shows reflect admiringly on Whitney's career, none of them will talk about how they profit from these public displays of grief. We won't hear this from the media because they are part of the system that both made and watched idly by as this tragedy unfolded.
Perhaps my biggest concern, though, is that the media doesn't understand that it is taking over this very public role. So when the clips and segments are assembled they aren't done with an eye towards helping a grieving group of people they are done with an eye towards increased ratings and being the first to report it. Grief takes time and being patient is the last thing that media can afford to be. For the most part, this is an old story already. It will be mentioned again when her funeral is reported on and when the coroner releases the cause of her death. Tomorrow we will see the media move on to other stories.
The real tragedy here is that we don't have public grieving rituals for people (or events) who occupy a national or global presence. As we become more globally connected to people we will never meet in person we need to find ways to express our grief at their loss that are better than a 20 minute recap on the news the day after their death. If we can't find ways to grieve the pain of these losses it will only cause more pain in the long run.
