Family at Christmas

This is the sixth in a series of 12 personal reflections posted during the 12 Days of Christmas

I just returned home from what was basically a 5-day trip to see family during the Christmas holiday. On the 26th of December we put 100 miles on the car to spend the afternoon and evening with everyone on my side of the family. Then on the 27th we drove 8 hours to visit my wife's side of the family for two days before making the 8-hour trip home. No complaints. We had a good time visiting with people we enjoy spending time with.

It's great to reconnect with parents, siblings, in-laws and cousins. But why do we do it at Christmas? In North America it is the worst time of the year to travel (weather-wise) and we have already crammed so much activity into the season that staying home and relaxing seems like a more logical alternative.

What is it about Christmas and family? Why the compulsion to gather together for a meal and an elaborately orchestrated gift exchange? Fun? Yes. I know that I am lucky in that regard but we could just as easily do it some other time of the year. Tradition? Social Custom? No doubt these play into it as well.

I have a sneaking suspicion that, as a culture, we are trying to hang on to something here that is slipping away. For the past 500 years or so the nuclear family has been regarded as the basic societal unit. (For more on how it has only been that way for the past 500 years see Phylis Tickle's The Great Emergence.)  The family as the basic unit of society is currently being replaced by the individual. As we move evermore into a culture where the individual is the basic unit of society, we cling to the past, reluctant to let go of what is so familiar.

But more importantly, I remember the great fun I had and the things I learned about family and life at Christmas. I have fond memories of time spent with cousins while the adults laughed about things that happened in the past. I want my kids to have that experience. This year there were some pretty funny things shared at the family gatherings.We carved an ice sculpture out of the ice from the creek. We were amazed at the dancing ability of the kids. We discovered that grandma has special powers.We also welcomed the first spouse into the next generation (my niece's new husband) and were bluntly reminded that time doesn't stand still.

I'm wonder what Christmas will be like 30 years from now. Will my kids drag their families through the snow and ice to have a meal, open some gifts and laugh over things that happened on our Christmas vacation in 2010?

Well, I hope they will.